The Goose is Loose

Published March 15, 2012 in the UB Post 

Ornithologists and birdwatchers rejoice: Bar-headed Geese will be making their way back to the Mongolian mainland soon.

Yet another tie between the icy Buddhist peaks of the Tibet Plateau and Mongolia, the Bar-headed Geese migratory pattern sees the geese flying all the way from the furrowed brow of Russia to the lush tea gardens of India.

One of the highest flying birds in the world, Bar-headed Geese routinely fly over parts of the Himalayas during its migration. The northward migration from India is especially difficult and is carried out in stages. The geese wait until nightfall to begin the climb that lasts for hours. The Bar-headed Geese are aided in their mighty ascent by a larger than average wing area. Scientific studies have also revealed that the geese works more efficiently under low oxygen conditions, giving the geese the power to scale colossal heights and maintain equilibrium while in the air.

Not one to fly clear of controversy, Bar-headed Geese were accused of being early carriers of the H5N1 avian flu after an unexplainable outbreak in the Darkhan Valley of northern Mongolia. With no poultry farms in the area, the geese were immediately suspect and eventually proven guilty.

The mysterious outbreak in Darkhad Valley brought the attention of Ornithologists, who converged upon the region and began tagging the geese. Some of the geese tagged by the scientists were later seen in Somnathpur, India, a distance of nearly 4,780 kilometers.

The geese are now routinely collared, and sightings have continued to increase in India. The geese are a cause for celebration in India as they eat heaps of insects and other pests that can damage crops. Their droppings are an excellent fertilizer and farmer’s are known to protect the birds from hunters.

 Last year, the geese were seen in Chikmalgur, the first time the geese have been seen in the region. In February it was reported that three of the tagged geese were spotted in Nagpur, a distance of over 3,850 kilometers.

India, Mongolia, Russia and China aren’t the only place the geese like to travel. Bar-headed Geese used an ulterior pair of wings to migrate to Great Britain. Originally held in captivity, a few of the geese escaped and formed a band of feral geese. Naturally, the feral geese bred and Bar-headed Geese have been stumbling out of British pubs ever since.

While the geese are far from endangered, they have experienced a drop in numbers from over-hunting, egg collecting and habitat damage. A few conservation measures appear to be working, including the Gharana Wetland Conservation in Jammu, India. While the conservation has been in existence for some time, gun shelling and discharges from across the border usually kept the geese away. With the ceasefire of 2003, the geese immediately took to the wetlands for a little R&R.

As the Mongolian black ice melts, dust storms drift in and the spring yawns awake onto the steppe, the Bar-headed Geese will once again return to land of Chingis to breed, feed and take a breather until migration season comes. 

The Cola Wars

  (published in the UB Post on Monday January 23)

The bell sounds.

The hiss of a Pepsi can sprays its carbonated glory into the rafters surrounding the ring. The snap of its opponent, a muscular Coke can with bulging red biceps, sends shivers down the spines of all in attendance. The cameras surrounding the ring flash as the Coke can takes the first swing. The Pepsi can ducks, coming in with a hard right.

The war between Coke and Pepsi is the new Hundred Years’ War.

 It will last well into the 22^nd century and beyond, from coast to coast, mountain to mountain, villa to villa, couch to couch, and if we are lucky (or should I say, if the space tourist industry is lucky), from planet to planet. The war started at the turn of the 20^th century with blind taste tests, massive marketing campaigns, catchy slogans and ample buzz words. The goal? To be the number one cola, the number one caffinator, the number one can of sugar and carbonation. To win the cola wars.

We are witnessing the start of a Cola War in Mongolia and no one seems to be paying attention. No one is building barracks, no one is stocking up on water, no one is running to the countryside for cover.

Opening a small plant through local bottler MCS in 2002, Coke and its popularity have soared in sales for ten years now. In 2008, MCS opened a USD 22 million dollar Coke facility in Mongolia just to meet demand. When the smaller Coke factory first opened its doors in 2002, Mongolian consumers chugged four eight-ounce servings per person. Six years later as the new factory was opening, a typical Mongolian consumer drank 70 servings per year. Odjargal Jambaljamts, Chairman and CEO of MCS added, “Both the bottling company the Coca-Cola Company have exceeded all projections of profitability and sales. Our investment in the new plant is just our first step to bring world class manufacturing to Mongolia.”

Translation: the cola war is far from over.

At the end of the last decade, Pepsi too stepped onto the battlefield to wage war against Coke in the land of the Mongol Empire. Realizing they’d better catch up quick, Pepsi signed a deal with GN beverages to produce Miranda, Pepsi and 7-Up to compete locally with Coke. Setting up a factory with the latest German and Japanese technology to ensure quality, Pepsi has wasted no time in laying a solid foundation for their tactical operations.  

To better train their cola soldiers, Coke has been sending Mongolian workers to the Coca-Cola University in Shanghai. One can only imagine the type of strategic planning, quality control tactics and rigorous boot camp that must go on there:

“What is this soldier!?”

“A bottle of Pepsi, sir!”

“Who is your target?”

“Pepsi, sir!”

“Do you drink Pepsi soldier!?”

“Never, sir!”

“Soldier, how many grams of sugar are in a Pepsi!?”

“Forty-two grams, sir!”

“Wrong! Forty-one grams! Drop and give me twenty push-ups!”

Other Coca-Cola boot camp ideas? The trainee must crawl on his or her belly across a field of crushed Coke cans. The trainee must be able to open a glass bottle of coke with his or her teeth. The trainee must be able to tell the difference in a blind taste test between a can of Coke and a can of Pepsi. The trainee must do push-ups with four cases of Cokes stacked across his or her back. A background check must be performed on the trainee and his or her family to weigh their Coke vs. Pepsi consumption. If over the course of a single year, the trainee’s family has consumed more Pepsi than Coke, the trainee is automatically disqualified from attending the university.

Pepsi appears to be a bit more laconic about their training procedure for potential cola warriors. Does Pepsi have a secret underground base (possibly in Russia or China) where they train future factory employees? Is there secret cola military base underwater off the coast of Japan? What is the Pepsi Challenge and what are its true implications? The debate keeps conspiracy theorists across the globe up at night trolling Wikileaks for information. Only the cola gods know what sorts of weapons of mass consumption Pepsi has in store for the steppe.

As it stands right now, MCS group and their Coca-Cola warriors seem to be winning the race to provide popular mixers and afternoon pick-me-ups to a growing economy of cola connoisseurs. Further, MCS owns a number of bars and retail outlets, which only increase their chance of winning the war. Even Santa Claus has weighed in on what beverage he prefers. But the war is far from over. Lying dormant like a sleeping blue giant, Pepsi seems to be preparing for a large assault across the cityscape of Ulaanbaatar. By opening a factory in Mongolia, Pepsi is one step closer to infiltrating the cola masses and filling their minds and stomachs with carbonated goodness. Is Pepsi up for the challenge?

Mongolia Pictures

Buddha Park

Anti-death penalty monument

Picture of Ulaanbaatar from WW2 monument

Outside my window

Mongolian graffiti 

Texas sandwich